The Ball is rolling....

My 1st cycle has officially started.  

Taking my first femara pills tonight, since it's day 3 

of my cycle. Matthew and I have an attentive apt. to see Dr. Will on May 9th.  Then it will be a whole new kind of waiting game. Waiting to see if the 

test comes back positive! Wouldn't it be 

nice if the 1st cycle worked and

we didn't have to do another?

I think it would be, but 

trying not to 

worry!

:)

The Waiting Game...

When we started this journey Matthew and I, we knew there was going to be a lot of waiting involved.  We are at stage one of the waiting game.  I took the last (period starting) pill yesterday and should be starting my period any time now.  I have to wait for my period to start before I can start taking Femara.  I will take Femara days 3-7 of my cycle.  Around the 11th day I will start doing ovulation kits to find the day I ovulate.  The rest is pretty self explanatory of course hehe. 

I have PCOS, and therefore my body doesn't ovulate properly.  When looking back I figure I ovulated possibly once last year.  The fact that my body isn't ovulating like normal, has made it practically impossible for me to conceive. I've learned a lot about my body in the past year.  I never prepared myself for not being able to conceive.  I spent all my time worrying about getting ready for a baby and what a baby would need to worry about what my body needed.  I was getting my home ready for a baby and forgot to make sure their first home (my womb) was hospitable. 

I remember my mom telling me how she got pregnant for me, and how she was a fertile mertile and that I'd have no problems getting pregnant. There are many days that I wish she was right.  So many days that I get bitter towards those whom it comes so easy for.  I found myself the other day in tears and screaming at my computer screen because one of my FB friends is pregnant and keeps posting pictures of her baby bump.  I was screaming, "No one wants to see you FAT PREGNANT STOMACH!" Tears were streaming down my face, and I realized how bitter I was being and tried to quickly compose myself. Honestly she's a great girl and I'm very happy for her, but jealousy rears it's ugly head.

So here I sit on Saturday night... waiting... patiently for my period to start.  I never thought in a million years I'd ever be praying for my period to just hurry up and start.  No woman likes her period, but I find excitement growing deep inside me as I wait... wait... wait for mine! 

waiting.......

14 days

So! Doctor Matthew Will has me on a pill that will force me to have a period (and force me to ovulate).  The last time he had me take this pill for the SIS procedure, my body didn't respond that well to it and so he has me taking it for 14 days now instead of 10.  So I will have more updates soon... 

(: I hope! :)

test results!

Test results are in! We are both healthy and I do not have Cushings! 

We are on our way to the pharmacy to pick up the drugs that should help us conceive! I'm being very positive today and I hope to continue to stay that way through out this whole process! 

The doc has me taking a drug to force me to have a period and then during the period I'll take a drug to make my body drop more than one egg and then we try to conceive!! :o)

WISH US LUCK!

Last week of March

Last week we had blood drawn.  They checked us for STD's and so on.  I had a SIS test done in the beginning of the month to check for cysts, which came back looking really good. My doctor was really happy with moving forward. The process has taken a few months but it finally looks like we are headed in the right direction. Doctor Will had me do a 24 hour urine test, where I had to collect my pee for a whole day. He just wants to make sure I don't have Cushings disease, because if so we'll have to take a different approach to getting pregnant.  I'm hoping with all my heart that I don't have Cushings but I will deal with it if it comes. This journey hasn't been an easy one and there's no doubt in my mind that it wont get easier.  I am calling tomorrow to check on my test results. So I hope to have updates tomorrow....

a poem I wrote...

Dear Future...

I think of you habitually.

Yearn to meet you

To hold you in my arms

To watch your undisturbed slumber.

You find me in my dreams.

Your crying jolts me from my sleep

Only to hear my own whimper

Feel my own damp face.

Your fingers cling to my memory

Chubby and petite.

Your arms flail,

Reaching through unfamiliar blindness.

If hope were a road

My travels would entail

Heart breaking bumps,

And devastating curves.

My faith has been tried.

My nerves frail, open

And exposed.

But still I embrace my broken conviction.

I can't wait until the day

I call you my own,

His own,

Our own,

My darling sweet unborn.

The Beginning

Hello, I am Adrianne and I want a baby! I've decided to use this, as a place to blog about my attempts to conceive and other wonderful thoughts about myself.  I've been trying to get pregnant for about 2 years now.  My husband (Matthew) and I have never used protection in the 7 years we've been married.  We pretty much just figured if and when it happens it happens.  About two years ago we decided we were really ready to have a child in our lives. We realized we needed to be seen by doctors since we weren't able to conceive on our own. We wanted to make sure it was even possible since, my husband had cancer as a child and received a lot of chemo and radiation.  
:::Flash forward to present day::: We are working closely now with Dr. Matthew Will of, U of M Ann Arbor to conceive. We are under the impression that although this will be a difficult and expensive process, it is completely possible!  

We are very happy, just to know there's a possibility of becoming parents.  My very close friend Amanda had some difficulty getting pregnant as well, and has become a mega help in my quest to conceive. Last December Amanda and Rob (her husband and my husband's best friend) gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby girl (Rylie). Matthew and I have grown very attached to her and her birth has given us much hope for our own little family. I get to watch Rylie three days a week to help Amanda out while she works. Rylie is a complete angel and although she can be a grumpy pants, she's opened my eyes to life with a baby.  

I really don't want people to think that I don't realize how difficult being a mother is, because I'm very well aware. I am just simply ready for the honor of parenting. I'm ready for all the poopy diapers, late nights, early mornings, crying, laughing, and joy that a baby brings. I'm ready for my little "Sweet Pea".